नेपाली जोक्स..........

1. लोग्नेले आफ्नो स्वास्नीलाई जहिले पनि आफ्नो अन्डरमा राखन खोज्दथ्यो।जे कुरा अराउदा पनि नत्र भनेर थर्काउने गर्दो रहेछ। एकदिन लोग्ने नुहाउन लागेको रहेछ, लोग्नेले भन्यो:- पानी तता नत्र स्वास्नी पनि आकुल ब्याकुल भएर जोरी खोज्दै:- नत्र के गर्छौ, हँ नत्र के गर्छौ? लोग्ने:- नत्र चिसै पानीले नुहाउछु।

2. कहिल्लै चिया नखाएको गाउँको दुइटा मान्छे शहर गएछ। र चिया पसलमा बसेछन्। पहिलो:- ओई! यी सबै मान्छेले के खाएको हो हामी पनि खाऔ न। दोस्रो:- हुन्छ नि (अडर गर्दै) दाई हामीलाई पनि त्यो १—१ गिलास दिनुस् त् (पसलेले चिया दिन्छ) पहिलो:- ओई यसको झोल त यति मिठो छ भने , झन चोक्टा त कति मिठो होला हगि। दोस्रो:- हो त नी।

3. एकदिन कुइरे र नेपालीले मित लगाएछन। नेपाली:- अब देखी मेरो बैनी तिम्रो बैनी, मेरो आमा तिम्रो आमा, मेरो बाबु तिम्रो बाबु, मेरो भाई तिम्रो भाई, मेरो छोराछोरी तिम्रो छोराछोरी है। कुइरे:- त्यसो भने तिम्रो स्वास्नी मेरो पनि स्वास्नी ।

4. कक्षामा निबन्ध लेख्ने विषयमा दुई जना विद्यार्थीबीच भलाकुसारी चल्यो । पहिलोले सोधेछ: पहिलो: मलाई निबन्ध लेख्न साह्रै गार्हो लाग्छ, कसरी लेख्ने होला है ? दोश्रो: निबन्ध ? त्यो त सजिलो छ नि ! पहिलो: कसरी लेख्ने भन न त । दोश्रो: हातमा कलम समात अनि लेख न ।

5. दुई जना स्कुले बालकहरु श्यामे र रामे स्कूल जाँदै गर्दा बटोमा गफ गर्दै: श्यामे: अँ, हिजो त मैले अनौठो कुरा देखेँ नि ! रामे: के हो त त्यस्तो अनौठो कुरा ? श्यामे: मैले हिजो कुखुराले अण्डा परेको देखेँ नि ! रामे: यस्तो सानो कुरा पनि सुनाउने हो ? श्यामे: केको सानो कुरा ? सक्छस् भने तैँले पारेर देखा त ।

6. A sardar got an invitation to a party which said"Red tie only".But when he went to the party,he was surprised to see that others were wearing pants and shirts also.

7. Teacher: Everyone write your lover's name in a piece of paper. Girls after 2 secs.: Finished mam. Boys after 10 minutes: Extra sheet mam.

8. Men always have better freinds....They will stand by you, no matter what!!! Friends of women: A wife was not at home for a whole night.So,she tells her husband the very next morning,that she stayed at her friend's(girl friends) apartment the whole night.So the husband callsc 10 of her best (girl) and nooneof them confirmed that she was with them. Friends of men: Ahusband was not at home the overnight.So, he tells his wife the very next morning that he stayed at his friend's(boy) apartment overnight.So,the wife calls 10 of his best(boy)and 5 of them confirmed that he was with them that night and other 5 are claiming that he is still with them.

9. Sardar at bar in New York: Man on his right says:"Jony walker single" Man on his left says:"Peter scotch single" Sardar says:"Balgith singh married"

10. Prince Charles and Sardar ji were having dinner. Prince said,:"Pass the wine you divine" Sardar thinks"how poetic" Sardar says,:"Pass the custard you bastard."

11. Bhikari: Saab 6 rupaye de do na, coffee pini hai. Man: Kyoun 1 coffee 3 rupaye ki hai na ? Bhikari: par saab saath main GF bhi hai.. Man: Bhikari ho aur GF banali? Bhikari : Saab GF ne bhikari bana diya.

12. Q:Why can't you keep a clock in jail? A: Because Time is aways running out.

13. The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it "EVERYTHING" and the book is titled "WHAT WOMEN WANT?"

14. It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and his way home rear-ended the car infront of him.The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, "Boy are you in trouble?I am a lawyer." The driver looked out of the window and said, No you are in trouble. I am a judge.

15. Girl : Do you love me? Boy: Yes dear!! Girl : Would you die for me? Boy : No, mine is undying love dear.!!

16. Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.I carefully removed his glasses; "You know, honey," I said sweetly, without your glasses you looklike the same handsome young man I married." "Honey", he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you look pretty good,too!!!

17. एक दिन मुन्द्रेको प्रमिकाले आफ्नो सबै लुगा फुकाल्यो र भनि मलाई तिम्रि श्रीमति जस्तै गर मुन्द्रेले सबै लुगा बठुल्यो र घुन लाग्यो ।

18. एक दिन मुन्द्रे र एक जना मान्छे बिसौ तल्लामा बसेर कुरा गर्दै थियो। अकस्मात कसैले मुन्द्रेलाई “मुन्द्रे तेरो छोराको मुत्यु भयो भन दियो। बियोग सहन नसकि मुन्द्रे २० तल्लाबाट हाम फाल्यो।उ तल झर्न लाग्यो। जब उ ८ औ तल्लामा पुग्यो उसले सम्झयो उसको त छोरा नै छैन जब ऊ ५ औ तल्लामा पुग्यो उसले सम्झयो कि उसको त बिहे नै भा छैन जब ऊ २ औ तल्लामा पुग्यो उसले आफु मुन्द्रे नभएको सम्झयो ॥

19. मुन्द्रेलाई सबैले आफ्नो रमाईलो बनाएको देखेर रिस उठेछ र एक दिन श्रीमतीलाई भनेछ एऊटा यस्तो चुटकिला भन जुनमा मेरो योगदान छैन मुन्द्रेकी श्रीमतिले भनिछ : म गर्भवती भए।

20. मुन्द्रेलाई एक रात लामखुट्टेले टोकेर हैरान गरेछ मुन्द्रेले उपाय निकाले छ र एक बोतल बिष पिएछ र भन्न थालेछ : ल अब टोक त तिमिहरु मर्छै